New Belgium UAR!!!!!

It's on in Des Moines. 8/28/2011. Don't worry B. I already have us signed up. Taking Monday the 29th off this time.

Happy Birthday Great Grandma Kehrt and Uncle Brian

The kids love birthdays even if its not their own. On Wednesday I told them it was Great Grandma Kehrt's birthday and Uncle Brian's birthday. Mara wondered:

Mara: On the same day?
Me: Yep.
Mara: What's grandma doing today?
Me: I don't know, probably sitting around listening to A.M. radio. (She hates Rush Limbaugh but can't stop listening to him.)
Mara: Is she gonna have cake?
Me: Yes, I bet she will.

Mara: Will Uncle Brian have cake?
Me: I'm certain of that.
Mara: What's he going to do today
Me: I'm not sure, but I'll bet it will look something like this:



Happy Birthday Uncle Brian and Great Grandma Kehrt.

Snow = Fun

The weather man was almost right on Friday. We got snow, but not as much as we were supposed to. For that I'm grateful. I like snow. If it's going to be cold, it might as well snow. I just don't want a lot of snow. The last two years I have spent more time behind my snowblower than I would like. I'm hoping this year is different.

Mara on the other hand, is all about the snow. She and Ellen were so excited to play in the snow on Saturday morning I couldn't believe it. I had an early morning snow ride planned, and I had to delay it a bit so I could get the kids ready for a day in the snow. I got them some warmer mittens than they had, some new snow pants and some shovels fit for kids their size.

When I left for my ride, my lovely ladies were hard at work on the sidewalks and driveway. Things are looking up around here.

The snow ride followed soon after. A few buddies, a mid-ride beer. Same ol' song.

Tom Headed towards the bridge.

Tom again on the innerloop

Barker on the innerloop

Barker headed for the bridge.

Chris headed for the bridge. If I had taken this picture three seconds later, it would be of Chris laying on his side on the bridge will his bike bounced into the icy creek.

Mmmmm. 11.2 ounces of goodness.

Me and Chris

Following the ride, I got home and the fun really started. The kids were inside by now getting warmed up with some lunch. Ellen went down for a nap, and Mara was all about getting back outside. So we got all bundled up and headed back out. She absolutely loved it out there. We pulled the sled, we shoveled snow, and then we started to build a fort. When it became clear to me we were going to be out there for a while I got a fire going in the pit. Worked pretty good.

A little later Chris came over and as if on cue, Stacey arrived home from the grocery store with beer. Fabolous. Turns out Chris and Ellen are long lost pals. He's also a helluva sled puller.

Tis the season

Man the girls are gonna have fun this year for Christmas. We went to Menards on Sunday after recovering from a night out acting like we're ten years younger than we are. We needed to find some replacement bulbs for some lights that went out last year and I wanted to replace my light-up Snoopy that finally died and will not be making a comeback despite my efforts to revive it. We did get a Santa decoration for the yard and I plan on perhaps getting some more lights this year. We'll see. I ran out of time to put everything up but I've got it all ready to go for this weekend.







I'd do it if she would let me I swear to you.

I'm going to have to buy a camera pretty damn soon.

Listen fat ass....

So here's what some jaghoff has to say about bike lanes in the city of Toronto. I stole this from here




I'm not saying it's a good idea to ride down busy streets and screw up traffic, but I'm certainly not going to heed any advice from a man who is probably on his 3rd bag of cheetos for the day at noon and hasn't seen his own dick without using a mirror in 20 years. To this man, I sum up my thoughts with a photo I like to pull out of the archives from time to time:

Sure I take on an inherent risk by riding my bike to work everyday. But just because your fat ass spilled your coffee on your cheap ass suit because you can't hold it in one hand, a jelly donut in the other, and answer your cell phone with its cute little downloaded gay ass ringtone, and then swerved to the right and pasted me all over the street widowing my wife and rendering my children fatherless until my wife replaces me, don't tell me it's my fault.

Halloween weekend

Halloween used to be the weekend I knew Stacey was going to get drool on herself drunk and I'd have to drive home. That's before kids time of course. These days of course it's all about the kids. And me. The kids costumes were a little tricky this year. Mara wanted to be a dragon but a dragon costume was nowhere to be found so we settled on a lion. And Ellen of course was a princess. A snow princess as it would turn out. She didn't really care as long as it was a princess. Stacey and I went to the girls's school and daycare to watch them do little parades and fun Halloween stuff. It was really cool this year because they totally get the whole this is pretend thing. It's good stuff.

Saturday we didn't have much going on. We spent most of the day playing outside and just kinda hanging out. I had a LAMBA thing planned for the evening, a night halloween ride that I was really looking forward to. I left the house at around 3:3opm to get to the trails to get things ready. The leaves are almost all off of the trees now which means they are all on the trails. Our club owns the leaf blower of all leaf blowers that I got out with to clean up the trails a little. I made quite a dent until I ran out of gas. I took a costume with me that wasn't much of a costume at all really. It was some spandex fruity bike shorts and a white wife beater. Based on the temps last night, that didn't last long. Another thing I did before anybody got there last night was I took a bunch of beers and stashed them near an old barn foundation buried in the middle of the trail system. Made for a good stopping point to enjoy some refreshments.

Sunday was just plain awesome. The girls and Stacey went to church in the morning. While they were gone, after I got out of my first shower since Thursday I decided I'd take my Accounting book and head to HyVee for breakfast. When I was there, Stacey sent me a text telling me they were headed my way. We had a great breakfast together at HyVee and were ready for the Halloween festivities.

So after naps, we headed to an assisted living home near our house where we had been invited to trick or treat. Mara and Ellen were super excited to get into their costumes.

Ellen the Snow Princess:

Mara the Lion:

Stacey the Zoo Keeper:

We really had a nice time talking to the nice people there. They had trick or treating, games, activities, snacks and even a little hay ride:

After that we headed back home to do some trick or treating around our neighborhood. It was a lot of fun even though our neighborhood was kind of lame. The girls got lots of candy. I hauled them around in our wagon in my costume with Stacey tagging along:

We hit every house we could until the girs started to get really cold. Then we went home to hand out candy to the older kids. I had a fire going in the driveway with a cooler out there for adult trick or treating, but nobody took me up on it until my neighbor Chad and his family came by. I even had Michael Jackson Thriller playing on my stereo that I brought outside, but it didn't seem to interest most people and even bewildered a few. I hope to take things up a notch next year and try to bring our block together a little bit. All in all we had a great day and my Cousin Eddie costume was a hit. It took me all of about 3 minutes to think it up and put it together.

Hope y'all had a Happy Halloween!!

D E C O R A H

If you were to search the history of this blog, you'd see a few decorah posts. In fact, I think two of my last three posts were to tell a story of my decorah trips. It's more of a reflection of my neglect of this blog than the frequency of my trips to Decorah. Anyways, my buddies and I went there again last weekend. Again, I tried to talk my wife into joining me but the forecast called for nights in the 30's. Good camping weather for me, but a little beyond her comfort zone. So Josey and I made the trip.

I got up there late Friday afternoon after scouring NE Iowa for that ever elusive bottle of Templeton Rye but to no avail. So instead, I rode. I got there early enough to get a campsite and go for a little solo ride as I knew Saturday's riding would be stop and go. I find myself having a lot more patience on the stop and go rides when my legs already have the cobwebs out of them. Regardless, I got my ride in and went back to camp. It wasn't long before folks started arriving and the night around the fire ensued. Below is evidence that there was some carnage, but it paled in comparison to other Friday nights in Pulpit Rock Campground.

We got going sometime late morning but had to stop at a bike shop because Adam forgot his shoes. He was prepared to purchase a new pair of shoes and cleats, but luckily the owner of Oneota Bike Shop is one of the coolest people on the planet and just happens to be a mountain biker that had a really big role in the very existense of arguably the best trail system in Iowa.

This guy not only gave Adam a pair of shoes to use for the weekend free of charge, but he happens to be brewing 25 gallons of beer in the back of his shop. Does your bike shop have a giant vat of beer brewing in the back room? I doubt it.

It wasn't long and we were up in the bluffs doing some riding. We had a tour guide that I've known for a while now but until this day had never seen sober. Turns out Spinner is a hell of a nice guy and a damn good rider despite his size. We went up to the top of the bluffs and checked out the view on one of our breaks.

On our way back down one trail system on our way to another, we found a little skinny to play around on. There are bigger and more consequential ones that we rode, but this is the only one where the camera came out. Here Adam is showing me how it's done.

And then I joined in on the fun. This is the first quasi-technical riding I have done since August when I tacoed my front wheel. A mishap that will eventually cost me around $200 to fix.

After a few hours, we retired to T-Bocks for some PBR's and some chow. This is hands down my favorite bar in Iowa. Good beers, good people, and they support the local club and trails.

Later, the locals gathered at our campsite. We let Adam catch a nap and finish his IPA before we headed out for a night ride.

Turns out that most night rides in Decorah end at a spot I've mentioned before called the Glory Hole. Now, it was only recently that I've learned the true origin of the term Glory Hole. This both goes to display both my level of naivity as well as the juvenile behavior that I enjoy so much about mountain biking culture. The glory hole, as it is re-defined in decorah is a place to drink beer and have a burn barrel fire. The beer planted early and strategically and is kept cold in a bat cave and the fire is started using stashed gasoline and collected firewood. Good times are sure to be had when 12 people bring no less than 90 cans of beer, 20 brats, and plenty of bullshit stories and don't leave until all have expired.

The burn barrel is / was a piece of art at one point having some sort of demon face cut out of it where embers spit out of periodically.

A game of toss the scalding hot ember even took place. Even I wasn't stupid enough to get involved in a game where a red hot ember flies towards you hacky-sack style where you're supposed to catch it and toss it to someone else before it burns your fucking fingers off. I figured abstaining from such activities would make my mother proud. Peer pressure can be a bitch especially when preceded by multiple 30 packs of cheap beer.

Our day at Sugarbottom

We've lived here for almost 5 years now. I've ridden what I consider to be a top notch trail system called Sugarbottom probably in the neighborhood of 50 times in those 5 years, but Stacey and the kids have never joined me. It's not that I expect them to ride because I certainly don't, but it's cool to make something you love a family affair. So it took the Topps', whom we know through my parents and Clear Lake, to get Stacey to get the kids and herself to come and check it out. Jack sent me a text message Friday morning suggesting we meet at Sugarbottom on Saturday afternoon and that's what we did. The Topps and I arrived there earlier and Stacey and the kids joined us later. We had a great ride on the trails. It was absolutely beautiful outside and the sun was shining through the pine trees that make up the South side of Sugarbottom. Everybody made it through the trail system unscathed.

As is often the case, a great part of mountain biking is what ensues aspres ride. The kids and Stacey were at the trailhead in the parking lot along with our coolers full of beverages and food. When we rolled up Mara was doing the pee-pee dance and the bathrooms had been locked up for the season. Luckily, she was able to get past her natural Schwartz/Ritter born vanity and was able to drop trou and pee in the grass. She wasn't quite as proud of that as I was, but she sure felt better and went straight back to perfecting her sand volcano. Ellen on the other hand is quite content at this point peeing in the grass. In fact, I'm pretty sure she gets a kick out of it. Mara and Ellen played in the sand and on the swings at the trailhead quite literally until dark. They had a great time and had sand well embedded in their hair as well any other conceivable place. While Stacey took them home, the Topps and I kept working on emptying our coolers.

Anyways, a day at the trails is as good as it gets for me. And I was happy to share it with my family and some good friends.

Photos Galore

Lots of nothing has been going on since my last post. Rather than bore everyone with details explained through my sarcastic dialouge, I'll just post a bunch of pics and I'll go easy on the details.

In mid July I took advantage of a cheap camping trip to Decorah and did some riding with my CR friends. I love the town of Decorah. Great trails, great town, and great campgrounds.

Now that's a fat tire.

Ken giving the Pugsley a whirl

The next weekend found the Kehrt family in Clear Lake for a week with my folks and my sister Sara's family. We rode a little of RAGBRAI but mostly just hung out together, played some golf, and had a few beers. We did manage to get out in the boat a few times. Ellen and our niece Emerson played in the baby pool a little and went to the beach. Emerson was nice enough to share her floatie with Mara and Ellen. We also visited Lime Creek Nature Center which has been on my radar for a while.

Emerson and Ellen playing in the pool.

Just like her mother would, Mara stayed clear of any chance that she could be splashed by her sister or cousin.

Mara and Ellen are perfectly at home on hiking trails. Here they are showing Grampa and Gramma the ropes.

To cap off the trip, we went for a ride on the storied Lady of the Lake. An old paddle wheel boat. Mara being the wuss she is, wanted to stay on the lower deck while the rest of us stayed upstairs on the top deck.

Ellen and Grampa and Gramma on the Lady of the Lake

We came home that Saturday, and everyone seemed happy to be there. We all had a nice visit, but it's always good to be home after being gone for a while. I'm sure Grampa and Gramma welcomed a quiet home that evening as well. When we did get home, Mara took comfort in her coloring books while Ellen and I filled up the ol' swimming pool. She got thirsty after playing hard and while I was adding more water to the pool at her request, she picked the hose up out of the water and took a drink ol' farmer style. I thought my Grampa Thompson would enjoy seeing that so I told her to do it again and I snapped a pic.

Ellen drinking out of the Garden hose.

Mara keeping to the indoors while she recovers from a nasty ear infection.

After I put the spray nozzle back on the hose, Ellen got a hold of it. I couldn't get out of the way quick enough. She thought this game was pretty funny.

Get Daddy!!!!!

This weekend was fairly relaxing. I got out and rode a little, did a little volunteering for my bike club, and spent some time at home with Stacey and the girls. Mara and I hung out by the firepit for a while on Saturday night. She really seems to like this and it's one of my favorite ways to relax. She eats smores, I drink beer. Works out well for us.

Mara and I solving the world's problems.

Last and certainly least, good ol' Josey is seen below here getting about as excited as she gets outside of a ringing doorbell, a passing dog (only at Clear Lake though), a rabbit, or Grandma Ritter. She just doesn't let much bother her these days. Not even Stacey resting a stuffed cat on her head while she naps.

Fat Beagle.

The next post I hope to get some more pics of Stacey in here. It's not that I don't want more pics of her nor do I not want you to see more pics of her, she just seems to be usually on the taking side of the camera.

Until then raise your pint glasses up and keep your tires on the ground.

The Dad Life

Pretty much nails it. And those Dads out there that "will never get a minivan", I'm telling you, they're awesome and you're not fooling anyone in that SUV. Thanks to Eric Penne for sending me this.

Yeahhhhh......

We decided to stay home for the 4th of July. We missed being with family and stuff, but it was nice to stay home too. For one thing, we got some things done we needed to around here that otherwise may have gone overlooked with disastrous results. First, we had sump pump problems on Wednesday. It wasn't the pump itself, but the results were that the pump itself (that appears to be the original from when the house was built) ran for gawd knows how long. After I got all the water going where it needed to go, the pump still worked but not as good as it should have. So on the way home from the Farmer's Market on Saturday, we stopped at Menards to pick one up. Now, granted I have no spare money to spend on shit like this, but even if I did, I hate spending money on shit like this. At least the labor end of it is an easy job.

Speaking of the farmers market, we got some good veggies and potatoes for dinner on Saturday night. I'm glad they were good, because the market itself was so packed it was barely worth the trip. It's awesome seeing all the people out and about and I love the fresh produce and supporting local folks, but Cedar Rapids has to rethink some crowd control issues. The girls got some free baloons and stickers, so they were good to go.

Saturday afternoon we hit the renowned Marion public pool. It's an awesome pool, it really is. It has a 1 ft deep baby pool. A 2 ft deep toddler pool with a slide. A splash pad and an olympic size pool. But, what gets me is you'd think with a budding suburb (hee hee) like Marion would have less of this:

and more of this:

But that just simply isn't the case. So folks, in the event you need to feel good about yourselves, I invite you to attend two different places. The Iowa State Fair, or your local swimming pool. I'd still call it a perfect summer place if they'd let me bring in my camping grill and some beers. Again though, the girls had a great time. We had to drag Ellen out. Literally.

When we got home we fired up the grill and cooked the aforementioned veggies and some wonderfully marinated (by me) steaks. I seared them just right and cooked em slow. De-freakin-licious. I got a fire going later and Mara joined me for some smores. The neighbor's grandkids came over too. It was cool.

Sunday morning I got out for a ride at Beverly. A good way to kick of Independence Day for sure. I had a better morning than Norbert:

By the way, for those of you who are dorks like me, who drool over this pic almost as much as the one preceding it, that is indeed a 1992 Klein Attitude with an integrated headset / stem / handlebar. That might be the coolest bike that has ever graced the trails of Beverly Park. Of course, the fact that it's converted to a singlespeed doesn't hurt either.

I got another bike ride in later too with Ellen. That was a different kind of ride, but just as rewarding if not moreso:

The night of the 4th we got together with our friends Roy and Monique. They have a little girl that's 4 years old and her and the girls play really well together. It's always a good time. Roy is currently mastering the art of smoking brisket. We got to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Combine that with a beer potluck, some well-behaved children (I know it's rare but it happens) and you have a great night.

Kids Photos

Long overdue photos from a ride on Gramma's new boat:

Mara loves her shades.

Ellen is digging this

This boat is awesome!

Grampa rules.

Me and Mom

Let Me Drive!!!

Not sure what the deal was with Mara sticking her tongue out that day.

Cruising in style

Stacey in a state of forced relaxation