Stacey went to Des Moines this weekend, so I had the kids solo. Really, the hardest part about this endeavor for me is keeping the house clean. There are three ways to handle this.
1. Preventative maintenance (don't let it get messy at all): Yeah right. First of all, I'm a slob. So even when I'm alone at home I can't accomplish this even though I try. Attempting it with the 2 kids is not even feasible to me.
2. Periodic repair (picking up messes periodically): This system keeps consistent order at all times. Do all dishes after each meal, make kids keep toys picked up all day. You get the picture. The problem with this system is that you're working all the time. You get a 30 second breather maybe in between addressing issues, which is not nearly enough time. Sure by the time the kids are in bed, the house is in good shape, but you're tired as hell. No real adult time.
3. Strategic Cleaning Blitz: Find out when she's going to get home. It's important there are no surprises here. In fact, it's good to keep something in your hip pocket if you need to. If you're running out of time, call her 15 minutes before her expected arrival time and ask her to stop at the store for something. (This only works if she does not have the kids with her) This will buy you an extra 10-15 minutes of cleaning time. Put the kids in front of their favorite movie and clean like your life depends on it.
a. Pick up dirty laundry that has accumulated and get it ready to throw in the washer, but don't start it yet.
b. take a shower -no cleaning the pipes today boys, gotta get to work.
c. put the clean dishes that have been in the dishwasher since she
left away, and load up it up with the pile of dishes accumulated over the last two days (don't do like my wife and her Mom and wash the dishes damn near clean before you put them in the dishwasher let the dishwasher do its job).Do all the dishes that don't fit in the dishwasher by hand.
d. Fold the laundry that has been in the dryer since she left, and put the wet clothes that have been in the washer since she left in the dryer. The bonus here is that since they've sat in the washer for 2 days, they're halfway dry. you'll be able to get these folded and putaway before she gets home.
e. Take all the accumulated laundry from step a and throw it in the washer. And I mean all of it. Don't sort anything by color or texture. Throw it all in there on cold and use a shitload of detergent. If it doesn't fit, make it fit. The chances of ruining anything you wore or your kids wore under your care is tiny, and if it does happen, you can play stupid.
f. At this point the dishwasher is working, the clothes washer is working the kids are occupied. Every horizontal surface needs a quick once over. Hard surfaces that is. That's right, no vacuuming. The success of this endeavor relies on keeping those kids occupied. Vacuuming could easily distract their attention from Kipper the dog, and then you're screwed.
g. All of the above items should have taken no more than 45 minutes. depending on her departure location, you have to judge what you can accomplish next. in my case I have another hour at least, and don't forget your ace in your sleeve store stop if you need it. Put the clothes from the washer into the dryer.
h. Get the toys picked up. Normally I'd say make your kids pick them up, but you don't have time for that. Do it yourself this time.
i. Time to put the dishes away. There will no doubt be dishes to put away that you're not sure where they go. Put these on a towel next to the sink as if they weren't dry when taking them out of the dishwasher.
j. Keeping your eye on the time, take the clothes out of the dryer and fold them. putting them away is optional. i'd fold them and put them back in the laundry basket. Doesn't matter that are all different sorts at this point and all in the same laundry basket. She won't know they were all washed and dried together.
k. This should do it. When she gets home, she'll be happy. The point here is for the job you do to be forgettable. Invisible. Do a good job, but not fantastic. An exceptional job may reap benefits now, but as always what's exceptional now is expected later.
